Therapist verses Meditation

Mediation Vs. Therapy: Do We Need To Change Our “Talk It Out” Mindset?

 

Hello everyone, Welcome to what's in the middle.

Today our little chatter is about therapy. This came up recently because my niece was asking me if I knew one, I was appreciative that she asked me however I asked her what made you think of me, she said well aunty I have heard everyone in LA has a therapist. I laughed out loud. I said well I am not sure everyone has a therapist but many people do. I decided to take her through a meditation class but she was not sold and still was insisting on seeing a therapist. It made me think about therapy, they are great and I have never stopped anyone going to one as we all have our reasons for attending but it raised a lot of questions. 

 

The first being, have we become over-reliant on hashing out our problems to others? I swiftly realized that the answer to this question can be found through the pushing of a remote button. Whole tv shows dedicated to broken-hearted respite-seekers flashed up before my eyes. I couldn’t say if any of them found what they were looking for but the crowd seemed pleased to be there. Have we become that crowd? The crowd that can’t get enough of listening to other’s woes and, in turn, share our own? 

 

Naturally, most of us turn to professional help rather than grace the Dr. Phil set but are the results truly any different? I realized that this wasn’t going to be an easy rabbit hole to go down as questions only seemed to be followed by bigger questions. But how does one confidently answer such broad questions? 

 

I’ll give it my best shot! 

 

Is therapy working for us?

 

For every person in the world, there are millions of problems to go alongside them, all to be battled in different ways – each with their own resolutions. However, I believe there are two types of problems in the world and this town (talking therapy) isn’t big enough for both of them! You see, those day-to-day problems that hang to the edge of our minds and generally settle in the pre-frontal cortex area of the brain are quite the treat to sweep away. “A problem shared is a problem halved” as they say, and this is largely true in many situations.

 

One issue is that these problems don’t stop coming. It’s as though a tennis ball machine was turned against us and therapy placed a racket in our hands. 

We spend hours batting off our skirmishes with the world but have we ever thought of turning the machine off?

 

That never really seemed like an option did it? Well, to an extent – it’s not. Life is never going to be free of another relationship tiff or broken down car just whizzing around the corner to ruin your zen. But we can effectively block the machine by preparing ourselves for it. Not to mention that going over our grievances can sometimes place them centre-stage of our minds and shine a painfully bright light on them – sharpening their thorns and loudening their painful voice.

 

And some … well, some things just linger. We all know them too well. They sit in the old rocking chair of our minds and refuse to be moved, never mind evicted. 

 

And don’t get me wrong, I know that there are benefits to therapy. After all, it’s a multi-million industry with years upon years of research that creates attentive and supportive professionals – but is it working? Not for everyone or everything.

 

Is there an alternative method?

 

As you’ve probably guessed by now – I have a solution in mind. My niece may not have been convinced by it but a growing number of solution-seekers are turning to meditation. It’s a tale as old as time really. Getting its start before civilization and finding its footing in 1500 BC India – mediation has evolved alongside us as a species. Perhaps we’re naturally inclined towards seeking out inner-peace and have only started looking for it exteriorly in recent history (I’m looking at you, Sigmund Freud!) After all, whole religions are built around the premise of finding serenity on the inside.

 

Why meditation works 

 

Meditation focuses squarely on the intersection of peace and performance – what we all want. It allows us time to centre ourselves while building an armor of peace that shrouds us for the long-term. So, we’re not just facing problems as they come – we’re making sure that they don’t hit as hard if they’re able to hit your zen state at all.

 

And it enables us to move smoothly through our lives by sharpening our focus and heightening our concentration. But how does it do this? Research has shown that regular meditation is capable of rewiring your brain.

 

 Let that sink in. 

 

By achieving a meditative state, we unlock the subconscious and root out deep-set patterned thinking – often brought on by trauma and resulting in depression. This process has been shown to increase grey matter in the brain – the stuff that helps us to process information and perform to the best of our abilities. So, it seems the refreshing after-effect of meditation isn’t just a myth after all. 

 

And how am I so sure of this? Well, I am a trained meditation instructor and maybe you’ll think I’m therefore biased but it works for me. I’ve also seen it work for hundreds of others who had come to a problem-solving stand-still in their lives. I discovered after years of delving my thoughts out to any who listened, that upon closing my eyes and focusing – they were all still there. Albeit better hidden and glossed over but still present, nonetheless. 

 

Of course, I am going to be somewhat more on meditation’s side being a meditation educator as well as overcoming various, challenging life situations which I’m still battling to this day (And hope to share more on in the future!)

 

I had poked and prodded at these issues for years to no avail because I wasn’t getting to the root of them, I wasn’t thinking of them as a part of me but something that had infiltrated my mind.

 

I had even been told many times by a once-upon-a-time the very close person in my life that I should be on medication or consult a therapist! Ever been told something similar? We all likely have at some stage or another, life can be hard after all.

 

But this particular suggestion was a giant red flag to me. I wanted to ask “do you really even know me?” It just seemed like they didn’t want to think any more about the troubling side of life. Therapy was a quick fix to them and I needed to be fixed in their opinion.

 

But that’s just not me. I’ve always been strong-willed and firmly believe there’s a holistic solution to all life throws my way. And let’s face it, I wasn’t going to let anyone tell me otherwise and boy, am I glad I didn’t!

 

I knew the answer was within me and that I had the power to find it. I was in control and my problems were going to find that out!

 

And sure enough …  they did

 

I had to peel back the layers in multiple dedicated meditation sessions before my problems were free to fly away. That’s not to say that meditation is the fix-all solution, but it sets you up to better process the world around you by creating an equilibrium within. 

 

Any trouble at odds with this equilibrium can then effectively be analyzed, processed, and reshaped to fit in. It’s not about simply putting your grievances into words and forming temporary coping techniques – it’s about building a shield of peace and understanding that gives you deep perspective on your life.

 

And could a therapist have helped me with all this? Absolutely. Could medication have helped me? Again - absolutely yes – temporarily. But is it helping me to change my mindset in the long-term, is it helping me to see life differently? Is it helping me to understand myself and accept my mistakes? Am I learning something about my brain? Am I being a better person? No, not absolutely.

 

Now many of you reading this may think “well yes, a therapist helps you with some of these things,” but comes with a costly $100 - $150 price tag by the hour only to prescribe you some quick fix medication and push you out the door? In my opinion, It helps us to deal with life at that moment and mask reality. However, this is my opinion. There’s a middle-ground to be discovered and I am always looking to better my understanding.

 

Meditation helps you to understand yourself and do every day will eventually eliminate the overthinking we constantly do every day of our lives. Are you going to reach out to your therapist when you want a quick peep talk at $150 an hour or can you find an alternative like learn how to control your breath which ultimately will control your thinking which leads to your actions?

 

So, while I can’t say whether therapy or meditation is right for my niece – that’s completely up for her to find out after all - I CAN say that meditation should always be on the problem-solving table. 

 

And since we’re always on-the-go, it’s worth remembering that meditation can be done anywhere, anytime; apart from perhaps mid-conversation! 

 

Now, please forgive me for being somewhat harsh in my views. I am always happy to learn from others' experiences and have great compassion for people who simply cannot live without their medication or seeing a therapist due to its crucial role in their well being. My question, however still stands: is it ever too late to start again? Is the difficult road to change more practical for long term happiness compared to a quick fix without a 100% guarantee? It’s a question everyone must answer for themselves.

 

 

And finally …

 

In a world of contradicting thoughts and theories on how to combat mental health issues and calm our worries - maybe it’s time to meet in that peaceful intersection. Please do try the breathing meditation below.

https://youtu.be/Z3hRHdSYi6w