A Lightbulb Moment About Kindness

 

So, I’ve just had some revelation about some people—not everyone, mind you, just a select few. Since I’m knee-deep in my therapist programme (only ten months to go—woohoo!), I’ve started viewing other people's problems through a completely different lens. I’ve found that despite my best efforts to preach kindness and self-care—like reminding everyone to cherish their elders and boost their relationships daily—some folks just don’t seem to get it.

It’s baffling, really! No matter how often I shout, “Just be decent to one another!” they forget it all until disaster strikes. It’s like they only remember to be nice when the proverbial hits the fan—when someone’s kicked the bucket, they’ve lost a relationship, or life takes a turn for the worse. Suddenly, they have a moment of self-realisation, but give it a week, and they’re returning to their old ways!

I mean, I get it. Life gets busy, and we all forget to balance things occasionally. But come on! Shouldn’t we always be kind and thoughtful, not just when faced with a crisis? If there’s one lesson COVID has taught us, a little kindness goes a long way.

I’ve been in some low places, but I’ve always tried to hold onto a mindset of “get up, get going, and keep moving forward.” Even when everything feels bleak, there’s no excuse for neglecting kindness.

Honestly, I think everyone should see a therapist—not just when the chips are down, but as a regular thing. It’s not just about surviving the tough times; it’s about thriving in the good ones, too! So, let’s all make a pact to boost each other every day, even when life is chugging along nicely. Who knows? It might just save us from a future meltdown!

Now, having said all this, I know it’s not easy. Trust me, I’ve been VERY, VERY, VERY low myself. My meditation and yoga sessions and the amazing people who helped me through it all kept me going. I’m so grateful for that support! But I recognise not everyone has those resources, which is why we must help each other see that we need to work on ourselves daily.

This all came to light recently when a friend was struggling with her boyfriend. I tried my best to guide her towards being a kind and thoughtful person, encouraging her to see things from his perspective instead of just her own. I deciphered some of his responses, and they were coming from a place of love—he was genuinely looking for a connection! But she was convinced he just didn’t want her anymore.

I didn’t give up, but the moment I was told, “I did what you wanted me to do, and it backfired,” I realised my advice wasn’t exactly hitting the mark. So, that was the last time I tried to give unsolicited advice—unless I’m getting paid for it, of course!

Now that they’ve gone their separate ways, she’s started to repeat some of the things I told her while she was still in the relationship. She’s becoming introspective and recognising her selfishness—like prioritising her pets over the relationship. She’s even reading self-help books and working on herself now! I’m genuinely happy for her, but it’s frustrating that she couldn’t see this before.

If only we could all realise these things while we’re in the thick of it! It’s as if most people only figure it out when faced with a crisis—whether in relationships, jobs, friendships, or just being kind to their parents. Honestly, it’s a lot to juggle!

And let’s be honest: being kind to yourself is hard. I mean, I have periods, and trust me, asking me to be nice to myself during that time? No chance! But if we could manage to be a bit kinder, say, 20 days out of the month, we might be better prepared for when the inevitable chaos hits. At least we can sit back and say, “Well, I tried everything I could!”

Based on my experience, I understand you may have a different perspective, but from what I’ve observed...